


too little too late

by ManyaZorEL



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Angst, F/F, eventually, it will have a happy ending, this will hurt before it will make you feel better
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-23 03:34:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20001667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ManyaZorEL/pseuds/ManyaZorEL
Summary: What if Lena left National City before being able to talk to Kara about her knowing the secret?





	too little too late

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a (unintentional) multi-chap fiction.  
> I was working on this but i really need to write some fluff again, so this angsty goodness will be a multi chap.  
> I don't have a schedule for writing/updating cause the heatwaves over here have me barely hanging onto my health combined with my place of employment (where I work in 39-41 Celsius heat)  
> So please bare with me, at least till the temperature lowers enough so i can actually focus on a properly written fiction that you can enjoy for the full 100 percent.
> 
> But for now.
> 
> enjoy.

Heartache was something Lena knew all too well, but this particular heartache was the worst of all.  
The heartache that came from being so far away from Kara, from the person she loved with her whole heart.  
Joyous, beautiful, loving, sweet, honest Kara who felt like a Godsend in the worst of times.

But she was everything but a Godsend, she was her downfall, her last straw, the pain that proved to be too much.  
Lena had walked away from the lies, the betrayal, the pain, away from Kara and that act was something she thought she never had to do.  
Never in a lifetime did she think that she would be laying on bed, beaten and broken because of her personal ray of sunshine.

She walked away from Kara seven weeks ago and she has yet to hear from the reporter that apperantly fights crime in her spare time.  
That's not what broke her so badly, no it was the lying, the deceit, the distrust towards her and for what?  
Kara had always said that her name didn't matter but then she went and said that she couldn't tell Lena her real name because she was just another Luthor.

Lena sighed as she closed her laptop after looking at the time, she had already worked well into the early hours of the new day and she sluggishly stood up.  
Looking around the new office she shook her head, she was still getting used to the new surroundings after leaving National City.  
It felt safer here, more relaxed, not without danger but no one who walked up to her and demanded her to pay up for her brother's actions, so she walked home.

Home, there was a time where home was a relatively small quaint house on the rent controlled side of National City where a attractive blonde usually waited with her favorite order and a movie ready to be put on.  
But now, seven weeks later, it appeared that she wasn't even missed as she had yet to hear from Kara at all, she deducted that she was of no importance to her once best friend at all.  
Walking into her home, she shucked off her shoes and went straight to the bathroom after plugging her phone in the charger to do her beauty routines before bed.

When she was done she checked her phone, as usual, for any new messages, silently hoping to see one from Kara.  
She kept hoping even if her brain told her not to, even when the disappointment of not finding a message tore a new small tear in her heart and pulled on the tears hidden behind her eyes.  
Taking a deep breathe she put her phone down and got comfortable in bed, getting ready for a new day, a new day without Kara Danvers in it.

-

Seven weeks had gone by and no word from Lena, her brilliant, amazing, beautiful, too busy for her own good, best friend and it was eating at her soul.  
She had gone by L Corp after week two because her worry was getting the better of her and it appeared it was for good reason.  
Jess had told her that Lena moved away and to tell her to give her a enveloppe that was only to be opened by her.

With confusing and fear edged in Kara's eyes, Jess had apologized and asked her what had happened.  
Kara had waited till she was home to read the letter and for that she was entirely grateful, because halfway through she broke down, tears streaming down her face, angry sobs wrecking her body.  
The letter lay forgotten on the coffeetable as she took swig after swig from the alien rum and it wasn't till two days later when Alex came over and asked what was going on that she dared to pick up that letter again.

=

_Kara._

_By the time Jess has given you this letter I have left this city and I am asking, no I am imploring you, not to follow me._   
_I can't be around you anymore, every memory I have of you breaks my heart more with each second._   
_I know, Kara, I know._   
_Lex told me before I killed him._

_I knew he wouldn't go down by a Kryptonian so I went to the place he would most likely show up and he did._   
_And I shot him._   
_My own brother, two bullets into his chest._

_And you want to know the greatest irony in the world?_

_It didn't hurt nearly as much to pull the trigger as I thought it would._

_But having him, in his dying moment, prove to me that you and Supergirl are the same, THAT is what broke me._   
_I've left the city and I am not interested in seeing or speaking to you._   
_Maybe in time I will be ready to speak to you, but for now, I can't even think about you without feeling sick to my stomach._

_I can't think about you and your act of kindness to me and then changing your outfit and saying that I am untrustworthy because of my name._

_If there was any good in me, like you claimed so many times, then you, Kara Danvers, have destroyed the last piece._

_You once were my hero, but now you are my undoing._   
_I can only hope that someday I could be a sliver of who I was before._

_But, I am a Luthor after all._

_Don't come find me._

_L.L._

_=_

Tears ran free again as Alex held her tightly, rocking her gently through the tidal wave of emotion and heartbreaking sobs of anguish.  
Soft words of comfort were whispered in the young woman's hair, trying to calm her down before she got herself wrapped up in a anxiety attack.  
They sat like that for what felt like hours, clinging to each other, Alex sharing silent tears for her sister while trying her best to push her own pain aside and take away as much of the pain of her baby sister that she could.

Week two turned into three, turned into five and she was dealing with the grief of losing her best friend because of her own stupidity and fear and it wasn't till week seven came by that she dared to try and find Lena.  
She took a couple days off from work and told Alex that she was going to talk to Lena, to make sure she has her side of the story and not the story of a mad sociopath trying to destroy his sister in his dying breath.  
The days were granted and she took to the skies and tracked down Lena's heartbeat and flew to Blüdhaven when she found her.

She kept to the sky for a while, afraid of the possible battle between her and Lena even though she knows deep down that won't ever truly happen.  
Taking a deep breath she descended into a alleyway that was out of view and changed into her civilian clothes and stared up at the imposing building where Lena was working hard as usual.  
Now that she was so close to Lena she got scared, more afraid than she had ever been before in her entire life, what if this was a mistake, what if Lena never wanted to see her again.

After taking three steps towards the building she froze, time stood still and her panic took over her for what felt like a split second, but when she came to the sun was setting and the building was near empty, safe for a few security guards and Lena.  
"Now or never Kara" she whispered to herself in an attempt to gain a bit more courage.  
She timed the guards and walked, okay superspeeded a little, around them and went up to Lena's office where her door remained unguarded but closed.  
She knocked before entering without waiting for a reaction from the CEO "Elizabeth I told you to go home, pleas g-" but her words fell silent on her lips when she saw Kara standing in front of her.  
Teary eyed and scared, panicky but resilient, hurt but ready to talk things through.

"I know you probably don't want to see me, so I promise to keep this short. For both our sakes. I'm sorry. There is nothing in this world that can tell you how deeply sorry I am for hurting you. I was going to tell you, I've wanted to tell you for the longest of times but I was afraid, terrified of losing you. Only for my fear to be the reason you left" Kara bit her lip to prevent the tears from rolling once more as she forced everything out before she lost the nerve.  
"Thing is, Lena, I was afraid to lose you because I am so in love with you and I know I fucked everything up and I know I'm not welcome in your life anymore after all of this. But I need you to know that no matter what, I will always, always, be here for you. I will always be just a call away" her voice broke at the end of the sentence, losing the battle to keep her tears at bay.  
Lena had yet to speak up, had yet to show any sign of emotion besides shock at seeing the blonde that tore her heart out.

Her lips were forming words that she couldn't speak, a multitude of emotions overflowing her capability to form coherent sentences, let alone make the words appear from her vocal chords "Kara I-" followed by silence and a shake of her head, tears swimming in her eyes.  
Kara reacted with lips drawn in and a sharp nod, her face contorted in pain and the effort of trying not to break down.  
"You're too late" was all she was able to get out for the time being "you broke me, Kara. Tore me apart and scattered everything I thought I knew about myself. I'm just starting to feel a little like the person I was and I don't have you to thank for that. You're too late" her voice was void of emotion, cold like negotiating a business deal and that ate up the last little bit of hope Kara had left in her heart at a reconciliation.

Kara looked away, the tears flowing freely over her face, her eyes red and lips quivering with the want to speak but nothing coming out so instead she looked at Lena one last time, tried to find any hope of them fixing this but not finding any.  
She nodded once and looked at the floor, trying to pull herself together for her own sanity and the little bit of dignity she felt before speaking softly "I really do love you, Lena. But I hear you. I'll go. Because you deserve the best and I am not the best for you, I always knew that" she started to walk but stopped close to her desk and tilted her head so she could speak in her direction "I'm sorry Lena" before continuing the walk to the window.  
Lena spoke up "Kara" was said so softly that if it weren't for the superhearing she wouldn't have caught it but she did and it stopped her in tracks "I loved you too" those four words shattered Kara more than she thought was possible and with a soft cry she flew out the window, straight home and broke down.

\--


End file.
